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Thread: FS: Loaded CPO '07 E92 335i, 60k, black on red, 6-speed

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    SF Bay Area, California
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    edirtysex

    FS: Loaded CPO '07 E92 335i, 60k, black on red, 6-speed

    Hello Shoppers and Buyers:

    Welcome to my 335 ad! I sold my E46 M3 last week and bought this POS (check my posts). I can't stand this car. It is the WORST car I have ever owned. Lack of LSD is sellingly annoying. Seating position is indescribably awful. Whole car just sucks. I sit on a god damn throne with my head rubbing on the roof and I'm 5'11. HVAC is poorly designed and worse than in E46. I knew selling my perfectly running E46 M3 was a bad idea and I still did it because i wanted something different. Well, I got what I deserved I guess

    For everybody out that is considering to make a switch from ANY M cars to these pieces of shit I STRONGLY RECOMMEND YOU NOT TO DO IT. Car sucks. For you regular 3-series, non-LSD people, you will be used to more of the same, one-wheel drive, non-telepathic steering, shitty seats with ugly ass, non-matched colored headliner.

    So having said that I still NEED to sell it to some poor sucker who is still salivating over twin turbo mambo jumbo nonsense.

    Quick Facts:

    -Overweight 2007 BMW 335i
    -N54 twin vroom psshh model
    -76k
    -6-speed
    -Certified pre-owned (CPO) until October 2012 or 100k
    -Fuel pump replaced at 38k and then again with most up to date pump at 57k. Should be good to go! I had no problems, but then again with this POS you never know when shit my go out again. Pumps are warranted to 10yr/120k and you also have CPO if it goes out again. By ALL MEANS get rid of the car when warranty goes out!
    -Cold start problem done under warranty
    -Sexy Jet black that gets dirty before you can dry her
    -Panties down Red coral leather
    -Fake pretty wood trim
    -Ugly white non-M headliner and pillars (whos idea was this ought be sent to Auschwitz)
    -M3 wannabe sports package
    -Unnecessarily overpriced premium package
    -Learn-to-love-winter cold weather package
    -Cool, automated rear sunshade worth $350. Doesn't do shit in terms of sun protection, but you can show off to people who have no clue how worthless it is.
    -BMW assist with same duration as CPO warranty (in case you don't have a cell phone in 2011)
    -Dealer maintained during its entire life. (That might lower the value actually since they are all bunch of crooks)
    -no body work, no accidents, no lemons, oranges, apples. no nonsense.
    -BONE STOCK. NO BURGER/HOTDOG/FRIED CHICKEN MOTORSPORT SOFTWARES NONSENSE OF ANY SORT.
    -No power robbing, warm air sucking intakes. Klaus and Hans multi-million dollar research budget designed stock intake and boost levels. DEATH to intake modders!


    Car is in flawless condition inside/out. It is nice, new, pretty and shiny. (Although, If i had it my way I'd put an S54 in it with LSD, change the seats and then it might be a good car).

    I have e46 m3 winter tires on the car now. Winter tires are Michelin x-ice in 225/50/17 all round formation. Almost 100% thread on snow tires. Managed to squeeze them in with turner 15 mm spacers all around. No rubbing. Will come with stock 18" sport package wheels with BRAND NEW TIRES. 225/255s. They are pretty without curbing.

    Price: $24,900 .

    I am also interested in trades. Clean E36 M3, E46 M3, E39 M5. NOT interested in non-M cars. This was one excursion to regular series world and never again. From now on only M cars. I am not interested in marble canned E36s with shot RTABs/FCAB/RSMs or in E46 with no history of valve adjustment or cracked and/or uninspected subframes. If it's pre '03.5 I expect rod bearing recall record. Same with E39 M5. I had all these cars, so please don't treat me like a fool. PLEASE let it be nice and clean. I might be interested in some other non-BMWs in working condition. Also if you have 996 turbo, 6-speed I want to talk. X50 even better.

    FWIW, I got a price quote from Dan on diffsonline for wavetrac LSD on this car. It would be $2100 installed. That means you drop it off and they do everything. No shipping your car, them returning you wavetrac, then you install and what not. I think it is worth it, but I am moving onto something else. This is a 08/06 build 335i with non-welded diff, which makes it easier and CHEAPER to install wavetrac LSD. Otherwise, you are looking at $3000 install.

    Thank your putting up with my rant and please buy my pretty car

    I can ship worldwide, with exception to Nigeria.

























    Last edited by malter; 08-10-2011 at 01:54 AM.
    '95 M3 cosmos, sold
    '96 M3 boston gree, sold
    '00 M5 jet black, sold
    '01 M3 Ti Silver, sold
    '07 335i jet black, sold
    '00 M5 Silver, sold
    '03 M5 Carbon sold
    '02 M5 Carbon black, sold
    '97 M3, white, sold
    '02 M5 Sterling gray, sold
    '03 530xi wagon, sold
    '91 M5 black, sold
    '99 M3 cosmos, sold
    '11 335i, gray, sold
    '09 M3 silverstone, sold
    '02 330i, sold
    '02 M3, steel gray, sold
    '02 325xi, BSM, sold
    '09 335, Montego, sold
    '97 M3, dakar II, current
    '97 M3 estoril



  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Bergen County NJ
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    F430F1+ W210 E55
    Nice color combo, and hilarious write-up. Good luck with your sale.
    2006 Ferrari F430 Black / Black


    2000 M5 Black / Caramel: SOLD
    1997 M3/4/5 Cosmos / Dove: SOLD

  3. #3
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    edirtysex
    ^my m5 was identical to yours in color combo I miss the BEAST!!!
    GLWS to you too!
    '95 M3 cosmos, sold
    '96 M3 boston gree, sold
    '00 M5 jet black, sold
    '01 M3 Ti Silver, sold
    '07 335i jet black, sold
    '00 M5 Silver, sold
    '03 M5 Carbon sold
    '02 M5 Carbon black, sold
    '97 M3, white, sold
    '02 M5 Sterling gray, sold
    '03 530xi wagon, sold
    '91 M5 black, sold
    '99 M3 cosmos, sold
    '11 335i, gray, sold
    '09 M3 silverstone, sold
    '02 330i, sold
    '02 M3, steel gray, sold
    '02 325xi, BSM, sold
    '09 335, Montego, sold
    '97 M3, dakar II, current
    '97 M3 estoril



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Sioux Falls, SD,
    Posts
    287
    My Cars
    '95 M3 w/ Dinan SC
    I can tell you're just a natural salesman!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Peachtree City
    Posts
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    2012 Tacoma
    This could be the best and worst sale ad in bf history!


    Is divorce in the air? Get the list and follow it!
    http://forum.dadsdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=13374

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Chicago
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    (98 M3 sold) 07 WRX
    What's that smell? I think it's . . . buyer's remorse . . .
    It sucks that you don't like this car. I sold my E36 M3 for an Acura TSX. Just imagine. So, as pissed off as you seem, it could always be worse.

  7. #7
    Join Date
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    edirtysex
    I guess it could, but aside looks I personally can't stomach this car.
    '95 M3 cosmos, sold
    '96 M3 boston gree, sold
    '00 M5 jet black, sold
    '01 M3 Ti Silver, sold
    '07 335i jet black, sold
    '00 M5 Silver, sold
    '03 M5 Carbon sold
    '02 M5 Carbon black, sold
    '97 M3, white, sold
    '02 M5 Sterling gray, sold
    '03 530xi wagon, sold
    '91 M5 black, sold
    '99 M3 cosmos, sold
    '11 335i, gray, sold
    '09 M3 silverstone, sold
    '02 330i, sold
    '02 M3, steel gray, sold
    '02 325xi, BSM, sold
    '09 335, Montego, sold
    '97 M3, dakar II, current
    '97 M3 estoril



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Bergen County NJ
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    F430F1+ W210 E55
    I personally love the way the E92's drive - and being only 5' 5", I like the high seating position.
    2006 Ferrari F430 Black / Black


    2000 M5 Black / Caramel: SOLD
    1997 M3/4/5 Cosmos / Dove: SOLD

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
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    Ballston Lake, NY
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    E46 330i ZHP
    LOL, love this for sale ad.........GLWS tho!

  10. #10
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    Ballston Lake, NY
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    E46 330i ZHP
    LOL, love this for sale ad.........GLWS tho!

  11. #11
    Join Date
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    Vancouver BC
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    80 320is, 98 328is
    finally some one makes scenes in an e90 FS ad. My dads e90 goes back in march. i cant wait till we get rid of the POS. (fuel systems gone once, and the vainos unit twice and there’s already ware on the bolster!!) 328i tho.

    get rid of it and RUN FAST! lol

  12. #12
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    edirtysex
    ^^Much obliged Sir!
    '95 M3 cosmos, sold
    '96 M3 boston gree, sold
    '00 M5 jet black, sold
    '01 M3 Ti Silver, sold
    '07 335i jet black, sold
    '00 M5 Silver, sold
    '03 M5 Carbon sold
    '02 M5 Carbon black, sold
    '97 M3, white, sold
    '02 M5 Sterling gray, sold
    '03 530xi wagon, sold
    '91 M5 black, sold
    '99 M3 cosmos, sold
    '11 335i, gray, sold
    '09 M3 silverstone, sold
    '02 330i, sold
    '02 M3, steel gray, sold
    '02 325xi, BSM, sold
    '09 335, Montego, sold
    '97 M3, dakar II, current
    '97 M3 estoril



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    USA
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    My Cars
    E38
    Great looking car. Black/Corral is quite possible the sexiest color combination. Good to see some that's honest about simply not liking their car because of their own personal tastes.

    With the CPO, your car is good to go. I'd be all over it if I were in the market. Good luck with the sale. Solid price too.

  14. #14
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    edirtysex
    ^thanks man. i try...
    '95 M3 cosmos, sold
    '96 M3 boston gree, sold
    '00 M5 jet black, sold
    '01 M3 Ti Silver, sold
    '07 335i jet black, sold
    '00 M5 Silver, sold
    '03 M5 Carbon sold
    '02 M5 Carbon black, sold
    '97 M3, white, sold
    '02 M5 Sterling gray, sold
    '03 530xi wagon, sold
    '91 M5 black, sold
    '99 M3 cosmos, sold
    '11 335i, gray, sold
    '09 M3 silverstone, sold
    '02 330i, sold
    '02 M3, steel gray, sold
    '02 325xi, BSM, sold
    '09 335, Montego, sold
    '97 M3, dakar II, current
    '97 M3 estoril



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Texas
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    Elise and Z4
    Best for sale ad ever !!

  16. #16
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    edirtysex
    Thank you guys. Now somebody buy this awesome bavarian beast.

    just imagine yourself in it....

    It is summer 7pm, weather is 83F with LOW humidity. Your windows are down and sunroof is open. Progressive trance is on medium volume. You are cruising buck ten down this awesome, potholeless, big city highway heading to the latest hot spot. You have RED SEATS and BLACK BMW. Woman next to you is tanned and wearing ultra mini skirt. She is running her french manicured nails with thin elongated fingers through you hair and her other hand is on your nonilluminated shifter. She is winking at you and telling you to downshift (pray your HPFP doesn't go out at this moment!)...imagine the rest of the story....

    lambo? m3? 911? pfffffttt they got nothing on this twin force fed antelope. it can be yours for measly $26700.
    Last edited by malter; 01-30-2011 at 03:55 AM.
    '95 M3 cosmos, sold
    '96 M3 boston gree, sold
    '00 M5 jet black, sold
    '01 M3 Ti Silver, sold
    '07 335i jet black, sold
    '00 M5 Silver, sold
    '03 M5 Carbon sold
    '02 M5 Carbon black, sold
    '97 M3, white, sold
    '02 M5 Sterling gray, sold
    '03 530xi wagon, sold
    '91 M5 black, sold
    '99 M3 cosmos, sold
    '11 335i, gray, sold
    '09 M3 silverstone, sold
    '02 330i, sold
    '02 M3, steel gray, sold
    '02 325xi, BSM, sold
    '09 335, Montego, sold
    '97 M3, dakar II, current
    '97 M3 estoril



  17. #17
    Join Date
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    Peachtree City
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    2012 Tacoma
    Free bizzump.

    I don't get the seating issues for a 5'11" dude. I've got a friend built like a lineback (6'1", 220) and he loves his 335.


    Is divorce in the air? Get the list and follow it!
    http://forum.dadsdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=13374

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Monroeville ,PA
    Posts
    77
    My Cars
    08 335i E93
    lol funny forsale ad!! i love my 08 335i e93 but i guess its because im coming from a 04 G35 coupe lol


    GLWS!

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Maine
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    M3|X5|M Roadster|Tundra
    Hahaha hilarious! I hate going from my black pillars and headliner in my E46, to the pretty much white ones in my VW.

    E46 M3 FTFW!!
    Last edited by GR330ZHP; 01-30-2011 at 01:22 PM.
    2012 BMW M3 Coupe, 6MT (summer fun)|2017 Toyota Tundra 1794 MGM (DAILY)
    2015 BMW X5 35i, M Sport, AW/Mocha (Family hauler)
    2006 BMW Z4 M Roadster, Silver Grey Metallic/Black

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
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    USA
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    Alpha Romero
    Best for sale ad I've ever seen

    GLWS

  21. #21
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    edirtysex
    Quote Originally Posted by krisko View Post
    Free bizzump.

    I don't get the seating issues for a 5'11" dude. I've got a friend built like a lineback (6'1", 220) and he loves his 335.

    There is a proper way to sit in the car. I can't speak for your friend, but I always make sure my palms are over the steering wheel when my arms are fully extended. That is driving school basics. I also sit relatively close to the steering wheel, with straight back. I do have a long torso, so maybe genetics and 335 are not getting along. Who knows?

    ^ ^^ thank you guys for good luck wishes.
    '95 M3 cosmos, sold
    '96 M3 boston gree, sold
    '00 M5 jet black, sold
    '01 M3 Ti Silver, sold
    '07 335i jet black, sold
    '00 M5 Silver, sold
    '03 M5 Carbon sold
    '02 M5 Carbon black, sold
    '97 M3, white, sold
    '02 M5 Sterling gray, sold
    '03 530xi wagon, sold
    '91 M5 black, sold
    '99 M3 cosmos, sold
    '11 335i, gray, sold
    '09 M3 silverstone, sold
    '02 330i, sold
    '02 M3, steel gray, sold
    '02 325xi, BSM, sold
    '09 335, Montego, sold
    '97 M3, dakar II, current
    '97 M3 estoril



  22. #22
    fullyflaredd Guest
    best FS ad ever.

    GLWS

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    El Dorado Hills, CA
    Posts
    46
    My Cars
    97 M3/4/A
    This is definitely the best FS add I've ever read. And to think, I actually pondered buying one of these... good thing I read your add!! GLWS.

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    Philadelphia, PA
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    5,660
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    2005 M3 & 2004 330i
    haha good luck with the sale, but honestly, this thread would make me run really fast in the other direction.

    I'm surprised you hate the car so much. I've driven both, and I honestly didn't find the 335 to be *that* bad. I was actually pretty close to ordering one with the M-sport package (mostly because I needed the black headliner lol) before ultimately deciding on the E46 M3
    Last edited by TerraPhantm; 01-31-2011 at 01:32 AM.

  25. #25
    Join Date
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    edirtysex
    again thank you all!

    ^If I had a chance to buy 335 again it would be 335xi sedan. Xi would eliminate one-wheel drive issues and sedan would resolve headroom problems. Problem is...it is not as purty as coupe :-/

    E46 M3 is just way more driver's car. It has more road and steering wheel. Turn-in is more crisp. You can put the power down in 1st gear without spinning and LSD is immensely helpful in snow. Seating position is perfect and steering wheel is thicker.

    335i has its appeal. creature comforts are way better than in e46. suspension and ride are much improved and chassis is structurally more rigid than e46. stereo, hid, torque are all better. it is seriously fast car. there is no need for software...at least not for me at this point.
    Last edited by malter; 01-31-2011 at 10:51 AM.
    '95 M3 cosmos, sold
    '96 M3 boston gree, sold
    '00 M5 jet black, sold
    '01 M3 Ti Silver, sold
    '07 335i jet black, sold
    '00 M5 Silver, sold
    '03 M5 Carbon sold
    '02 M5 Carbon black, sold
    '97 M3, white, sold
    '02 M5 Sterling gray, sold
    '03 530xi wagon, sold
    '91 M5 black, sold
    '99 M3 cosmos, sold
    '11 335i, gray, sold
    '09 M3 silverstone, sold
    '02 330i, sold
    '02 M3, steel gray, sold
    '02 325xi, BSM, sold
    '09 335, Montego, sold
    '97 M3, dakar II, current
    '97 M3 estoril



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