Famous quotes for Bmw M3 or any Bmw

[Mklock]

Ive heard past few weeks of buying odds and ends for my bmw "Wow thats cheap for Bmw".

Whats a few youve heard?

[rajicase]

What the hell is an External torx bolt?

Why dont your windows roll down? (When they dont see the window switches in the door)

Who the hell designed that?!

Does it have a v6 or v8?

Is it a real m3?

*opens hood* Does it not use a battery?!?!?!

Why does your gas gauge have an R? Empty doesnt start with R...

Can I drive it? NO!

[Mklock]

Oh the v6 lmao, ive seen that one on craigslist!!!

[Apex24]

Broke My Wallet.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? Porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

[Stephen Max]

Bumse mich wieder.

[MasterWorks1]

"Is it a real M3" - was asked this atleast 20+ times in the first month of ownership and it pissed me off, now I tell people "no, its actually a 315es" and they always reply "ha, I knew it you douche" and I just smile.

"Only 240hp?!" - Usually asked by the younger teenage crowd

"Oh, so you're rich." - Yep, a 99 m3 is a great sign of wealth

"Bet you drive like an asshole" - Usually hear this one from the older folks

[rajicase]

"Is it a real M3" - was asked this atleast 20+ times in the first month of ownership and it pissed me off, now I tell people "no, its actually a 315es" and they always reply "ha, I knew it you douche" and I just smile.

"Only 240hp?!" - Usually asked by the younger teenage crowd

"Oh, so you're rich." - Yep, a 99 m3 is a great sign of wealth

"Bet you drive like an asshole" - Usually hear this one from the older folks

Get these a bit too. First one usually from some prick with a civic claiming 300 whp with a CAI and fart can.

Second one usually from someone with a shitty domestic that has probably spent as much on their POS in maintenance than I have on maint/mods combined simply because they cant even do an oil change themself or change a tire if their life depended on it.

I have helped dozens of young/middle aged men on the side of the road with flat tires. They had the factory jack, tire and wrench in their trunk and didnt have the first clue on what to do with it. Most of them are too embarrassed to make conversation, but i have had a few clueless air heads that were too ignorant to be embarrassed ask "How did you learn how to do all of this???" in complete bewilderment as if by the power of god, they had just witnessed an automotive wizard drift down from the sky and miraculously perform the rare and mystical art of changing a tire..... JESUS CHRIST!

wow.. sorry that escalated quickly..

[KnudsonsM3]

Them: so what do you drive?
Me: an m3
Them: oh like a Mazda? That's cool. I like those.
Me: no, a Bmw m3
Them: oh, those are expensive.

[xen0blade]

"Hmm...I have to fix something...better take off the exhaust."

Me: "Jon, what do think BMW stands for?"
Jon: "Well, I know what it means in English: Remove Exhaust First."

My father in law, a master mechanic for over 25 years: "F*&$ing BMW engineers. They NEVER think about the mechanics, do they?"

STI owner: "My car is faster then yours."
Me: "That's nice. My car is still better because reasons."

Gas Station Dude - "BMW never made an M3 sedan."
Former me: "They did too! *googles it again*"
Current Me: "It came with the badge." (Well, it did...)

Friends: "Why are you driving the Corolla?"
Me: *insert problem here*

OT:
Riding my Busa down in 29 Palms. Park outside of the PX, and someone in a Honda Insight is getting in their car: "You should get a hybrid, because combustion engines harm the environment."
Everyone: *crickets*

[RRSperry]

Bring Money Withya...

Bring More Wampum

Actually I hear 'nice car, is it new?' They about die when I tell them it's 20 years old...

[rajicase]

Actually I hear 'nice car, is it new?' They about die when I tell them it's 20 years old...

Oh yeah.. Get this a lot. Nobody thinks it could possibly be 20 years old...

[silvermsane]

A guy from nigeria at work asked me if I knew what bmw meant. I said 'black mans wish'? He rebutted, 'a good car'.

[MasterWorks1]

I strongly approve of this thread, its a nice venting spot

here are a few more

"Dude why doesn't your glovebox close all the way?" - My reply is "shut up, it helps bring the center of gravity down"

"Are you in Neutral or 5th?"

"How hard can changing a starter really be?"

"What does Hi-Fi do?"

[M3Dynamic]

is that coolant i smell?
is that oil i smell?
why does you check engine light go off and on?
How come i can feel cold ac from the vents but it doesnt reach my face? (passenger)
why does you engine tic if its been sitting for a few days?
how come you always loose fog lights?
why are my injectors ticking?
why do I smell coolant when I use the heater?
Does it have a OEM alarm?
Why doesnt my glove box reading lamp charge?
wheres my antenna?

[Mklock]

Haha the starter i remember doing one in my 318 what a bitcv

[RobertE36]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubGo6qLrhNk
old but still funny

[TriniSpeC]

I thought you had an LSD.
Why does your heat smell so sweet?
Whats that noise?
Check engine light, what for?

[Ex36]

"I HATE that car. I feel like everyone is looking at me"

-The Wife, every time she has to drive it. Thank you Tri-flo!