So some of you may know that I'm a swap driver part time. Today I had to swap a Sienna for a Prius in New York. Long Island, I can't remember the name of the town but it was near Jericho.

Nice quick, uneventful ride down. Traffic was pretty light. Got into it a bit with a new Jag XK. He tried to shake me, but it wasn't happening. He finally gave up and I lost him.

Got into town, was AT the dealership, and noticed a 540 behind me pull up to the curb. Last time I was at this dealership I noticed a very similar car parked directly in front of the dealership, I figured I'd talk to him for a second or two and recommend the board.

Let's just say I got the BMW snob cold shoulder. It went like this:

"There's a great community of people on a website I can recommend, lots of support for the e34."



"This isn't an e34, it's a 540."


Yeah, that's when I said I was sorry for wasting his time. What a grumpy guy he was.


So I did the swap, took the Prius. I had noticed a couple shops on the way in, one of them had a Dodge Charger SE, like a 72 or 73, at one shop, and a bunch of old mopars and chevys at a shop like right next door, I didn't even notice they were different businesses as I was paying attention to the road and traffic. Found the shop with the Charger, pulled in, and noticed an e34 sitting two cars over from the Charger. Walked into the office and a guy walked out to talk to me. I guess everyone asks about the Mopar, I threw him off when I asked about the e34. Turns out it belongs to one of his mechanics, the mechanic speaks almost no english. He's heard of BF.c before, didn't realize there was such a big board behind it all. He's got a set of e46 m3 wheels he's fitting on the e34, I told him I had the set of headlights for the e34 if he needed them, non-ellipsoids like the car has now, only not all cracked. Told him I would deal with him directly if he wanted to play relay for the mechanic that didn't speak much english. Gave him my #, the url for the board, got his card. Super nice guy, very nice to talk to.

Left and stopped at the other shop, but they didn't have any Cadillac parts and didn't really know where to get 'em. Next I found a shop with a 63 Caddy being redone. All primer and bondo. I busted a u-turn and headed back in. As I'm pulling in, the woman in front of me stops dead in the middle of the entrance to the shop. There's a truck at least 20 yards away moving back and forth, I don't know what they were testing, but it obviously wasn't going anywhere. Traffic is heading down the hill towards me, and I have nowhere to go, stuck in the middle of the effing road.

Honk.


Honkhonk.


Honkhonkhonk.

Finally the guy telling the guy in the truck to go back and forth motions her to go to a parking space. She does, and I pull in just as traffic gets to where I am. This is a car with literally 8 miles on it at this point. I'm pissed. I ask the guy who I talk to about the caddy, then go inside looking for him. The woman in the Miata that was blocking me is in there. I immediately open up on her with all 6 barrels.

"Hey, thanks for sitting in the middle of the driveway for no reason, leaving me hanging in the middle of the road with traffic coming. I don't know if you could hear my horn or not, but I'm pretty sure I saw you looking at me in your mirrors."

She starts talking, and I see a mouth full of nasty, rotting teeth. Ugh.

"Well I'm sorry, I didn't know where to go, he was in the truck"

"And I was in the road, it's good to know I can get my car totalled because you can't figure out how to use a parking lot."

She pretty much stops at this point, and so do I. I look around for a worker, and she says

"Nobody's been out here to talk to anyone yet."

Now, I watched her walk in because I was right behind her. It was obvious that nobody had been out to talk to anyone yet.

"Yeah, I can see that, thanks. Anything else obvious you feel the need to tell me?"

She gives me evil eyes. Not because she was pissed, I think she was just evil.

"Yeah, I thought so."

She steams for a second or two, then a guy comes out. I ask for the guy I was told to ask about the car, he says he's in the shop. I walk into the shop, she follows me yelling "I was here first!" leaving the guy that was trying to help her at the counter.

I'm just starting to ask the guy about the car, and she storms off yelling about a lost customer and whatnot. The guy looks at me, and I'm like :dunno she's nuts.

Bear in mind, this may sound like me being a dick, but I really didn't have anywhere to go when I was in the middle of the road. Traffic in the far lane, couldn't back out there, and those teeth just set me off.

Gave the guy my contact info, got back in the car, headed off towards home. On 495 I came up on a pair of e46s, one with a body kit and Racing Dynamics badges. Rolled windows down, and asked if he was on BF.c. Said he was, I gave him my SN and told him to look me up, then took off in the Prius. Listening to the traffic reports the whole ride home, I beat all the traffic and all the major accidents for the day. Got home with the fuel light flashing at me.


All in all, a pretty decent day.




Tons of e34s in Long Island, we should start a recruiting club.

yeap. i'm one of 'em. was the woman in a blue miata with those swirly wheels? if that was her, so is a teacher at my school, CANNOT drive. i've gotten caught behind her in the middle of the street as well.

Uhm, are you located that close to Jericho? I get so disoriented on LI, it's like some spatial perception black hole for me. I honestly didn't get a look at her wheels, but she had scraggly white-ish hair and just nasty, cockroach eating, shooting meth for ten years, got beat up by Mike Tyson teeth.


Oh, and forgot to add to the story, as I was leaving, I caught her going the other direction, and watched as she drove back up the hill and back to the shop. Figures.

sounds like a great day. im glad to hear that theres somany e34s out there. today i went to home depo and saw a 535i this was near carmel i waited for the guy but he never came out. then i saw a red 525i at the mechanic that riped me off. i pulled over and told them not to go to him and that he knows nothing about our cars.

"This isn't an e34, it's a 540."


LOL

wow if u dont know u drive an E34 u should be kicked in the balls

all it takes is a swift kick and then he will realize

wow if u dont know u drive an E34 u should be kicked in the balls

all it takes is a swift kick and then he will realize


Well, the guy was like rain man or something, and he had handicap plates. I jet let him be.

oh ok he bought an e34 to get somelife back in him sounds about right then u should of kicked the laddie just for laughs. and u should of said i drive an E34 what now bitch:devillook

Benji's E34 Chronicles. Perhaps a new reality TV show? "Swap driver"

good stories!

Benji's E34 Chronicles. Perhaps a new reality TV show? "Swap driver"

good stories!


hahahahah :lol :eyecrazy i would pay to watch that

If I had cameras on me all day, I'd have to behave. It'd be a booooooring show then. :D


Besides, how many episodes would you watch of me shaking my head at every third driver on the road for talking on a phone and almost hitting me?

it could be rated m or something:) you could be like a top gear presenter, speaking about the car (prius)

I had a similar situation with an owner of a very nice Z32 300zx (not sure if it was turbo or not). He was at my work and I asked him "what year is your z32?" and he said "its not a z32, its a 300zx..." with a snooty look on his face. I decided not to explain to him what it was and just said "oh, sorry. My mistake" and took off. I feel your pain :)

it could be rated m or something:) you could be like a top gear presenter, speaking about the car (prius)


Dude, I'd give ANYTHING to be a Top Gear presenter. I'd even play the stupid American on the show. Top Gear FTW!


I had a similar situation with an owner of a very nice Z32 300zx (not sure if it was turbo or not). He was at my work and I asked him "what year is your z32?" and he said "its not a z32, its a 300zx..." with a snooty look on his face. I decided not to explain to him what it was and just said "oh, sorry. My mistake" and took off. I feel your pain :)


Yeah, some people don't want to talk, they want to hear themselves speak.

Dude, I'd give ANYTHING to be a Top Gear presenter. I'd even play the stupid American on the show. Top Gear FTW!

Good thing TopGear is almost back :buttrock Well, a special Top Gear episode at least. Top Garden Ground Gear Force FTW!!!! :D

Yeah, some people don't want to talk, they want to hear themselves speak.

Having an RX-7 like mine brings out all the wackos. It makes me sad just thinking about going to the parts store for spark plugs for my FD. All of the guys at the counter immediately turn into rotary experts and just keep blabbing on and on until they get stumped by how many spark plugs the engine has and ask me if I know which are the correct ones :lol :shifty

Good thing TopGear is almost back :buttrock Well, a special Top Gear episode at least. Top Garden Ground Gear Force FTW!!!! :D



Having an RX-7 like mine brings out all the wackos. It makes me sad just thinking about going to the parts store for spark plugs for my FD. All of the guys at the counter immediately turn into rotary experts and just keep blabbing on and on until they get stumped by how many spark plugs the engine has and ask me if I know which are the correct ones :lol :shifty


2! No wait, 3!

I had a similar situation with an owner of a very nice Z32 300zx (not sure if it was turbo or not). He was at my work and I asked him "what year is your z32?" and he said "its not a z32, its a 300zx..." with a snooty look on his face. I decided not to explain to him what it was and just said "oh, sorry. My mistake" and took off. I feel your pain :)

I like pissing off rookie DSM owners by asking how they like their D21, D22, D32 or d33 etc... When they say it isn't a ______ (honda nissan etc) I ask em if they've ever heard of chassis codes or used CAPS (mitsu's parts system).


Bin: 6 plugs I think. Lead and trailing for 3 chambers, right WAN? I dunno if they use the same plug for both or different heat ranges, but I KNOW I don't know.

hahaha attack eagle got the answer somewhat correct. All two rotor rotary engines use 4 spark plugs. Two trailing and two leading. Each rotor gets one of each and the trailings are a different heat range than the leading. Pretty much all of the rotary engines in American sold cars have 2 rotor engines. Other countries such as Japan and Australia got cars with 3 rotor engines from the factory. These would require 6 plugs because of the extra rotor.

To put things simply, the leading plugs act like regular old spark plugs where they ignite the air/fuel as your main source of ignition and the trailing plugs pretty much ignite whatever fuel the leading plugs didnt ignite. Hope that makes some sense :)

Heres a picture of a 3 rotor race engine. The spark plug wires with the blue boots are the trailing and the ones with the black boots are the leading plugs.http://rx7.pw.cx/siteimages/13g.jpg

This is what our spark plugs look like
http://img0.liveinternet.ru/images/attach/b/2/0/746/746573_DSC00428.jpg

These spark plugs dont need to be gapped. You just take them out of the box and screw them into the engine. Up until now, I have never gapped a spark plug in my life :embarrasm

Sorry to get so off topic but at least its somewhat interesting and my post count went up a little so I can get an avatar :D

Very cool. You gotta respect Dr. Felix Wankel and his ingenious design.

Bin did you miss out any good bits to censor it for the public?

Like you didnt offer to degrade the black teeth crack ho for $10 in the parking lot after she annoyed you :rofl: Yeah I have a strange life/mind.

Rotary engines are unfathomable to me, I was offered an RX7 cheap. "Errrr........ no thanks. I've heard they're like communism- good in theory"

Nah, I won't punch out a woman unless I'm afraid for my life. She was just seriously nasty. I wouldn't do a disservice to trailer trash by calling her that.


I'm just glad it's over. And no, I don't censor myself in real life, why do it in the story? :dunno

hahaha attack eagle got the answer somewhat correct. All two rotor rotary engines use 4 spark plugs. Two trailing and two leading. Each rotor gets one of each and the trailings are a different heat range than the leading. Pretty much all of the rotary engines in American sold cars have 2 rotor engines. Other countries such as Japan and Australia got cars with 3 rotor engines from the factory. These would require 6 plugs because of the extra rotor.

To put things simply, the leading plugs act like regular old spark plugs where they ignite the air/fuel as your main source of ignition and the trailing plugs pretty much ignite whatever fuel the leading plugs didnt ignite. Hope that makes some sense :)

Heres a picture of a 3 rotor race engine. The spark plug wires with the blue boots are the trailing and the ones with the black boots are the leading plugs.http://rx7.pw.cx/siteimages/13g.jpg

This is what our spark plugs look like
http://img0.liveinternet.ru/images/attach/b/2/0/746/746573_DSC00428.jpg

These spark plugs dont need to be gapped. You just take them out of the box and screw them into the engine. Up until now, I have never gapped a spark plug in my life :embarrasm

Sorry to get so off topic but at least its somewhat interesting and my post count went up a little so I can get an avatar :D

Right on.....and the 2 Rotor is a 13B and the 3 Rotor is a 20B !!!;)

I like pissing off rookie DSM owners by asking how they like their D21, D22, D32 or d33 etc... When they say it isn't a ______ (honda nissan etc) I ask em if they've ever heard of chassis codes or used CAPS (mitsu's parts system).


Lol. I remember when a couple of my friends asked that at a DSM meet to some new guys. They said "this isnt vtech" or w/e crap that would prove they dont drive honda engines lol. Some of them don't even know if they're running a 420A or a 4G63 lol. most of them were 420A's and they thought they had the turbo engine :stickoutt

most of them thought i was a noob to dsms...until i rolled out and they noticed it was me in the high powered GSX that they were craving all night about.

...Tons of e34s in Long Island, we should start a recruiting club.
;)

Sorry to be a noob, but what exactly is a swap driver?

Sorry to be a noob, but what exactly is a swap driver?


Let's say you want to buy a car, so you go to the dealership. You walk the lot and you like the cars, you talk to the salesman and you get a good price, but you just have your heart set on the puke green color you saw in the promotional material. The salesman really wants you to spend the money at the dealership he's at, so he looks on the dealer network and finds the one car in that color and configuration that's within a few hundred miles. The swap manager calls up that dealership and does either a buy, where we drive out with two people and a check, or a swap, where we sell them a car at cost and buy their car at cost.


I then drive one car out with a check, drop it off, and drive back with the car we've sold and a check.

dude if you didn't want to have cameras following you around, you could at least appear on a south park episode or something, then you wouldn't have to sensor a thing, and they'd make that lady seem completely absurd and not feel bad about it at all

Lol, she's a distant memory! Life's so much fun on a daily basis that people like her get mentally swept under the rug in a matter of days. Always new and crazy stuff happening.

Ben, I'm headin up to the shop, i'll call again before I leave.

Let's say you want to buy a car, so you go to the dealership. You walk the lot and you like the cars, you talk to the salesman and you get a good price, but you just have your heart set on the puke green color you saw in the promotional material. The salesman really wants you to spend the money at the dealership he's at, so he looks on the dealer network and finds the one car in that color and configuration that's within a few hundred miles. The swap manager calls up that dealership and does either a buy, where we drive out with two people and a check, or a swap, where we sell them a car at cost and buy their car at cost.


I then drive one car out with a check, drop it off, and drive back with the car we've sold and a check.

Seems like ALOT of fun. Maybe I should look into that. Any special qualifications/requirements needed?

Seems like ALOT of fun. Maybe I should look into that. Any special qualifications/requirements needed?


Yeah, you need to be able to drive. :confused


Seriously, you need to be able to drop what you're doing at a moment's notice and drive several hundred miles. I'll do a lot of runs from CT to NJ and back, or Long Island. The math says they should be 1/2 day trips at best, but the traffic coming back usually sucks.

If you can handle hours of traffic then go to a local dealership and ask to talk to the swap manager. I know someone at the dealership I work at, he got me the job there.

Thanks, sounds like a plan.