This is somewhat loosely based off of an email I sent to a friend last night. I really think there are some that are concerned for my psychological well-being now. :shifty

The other day, I noticed the car was telling me to check my brake lights. Having a husband handy, I commanded him to stand behind the vehicle and watch for my brake lights as I depressed the pedal. There were no brake lights. Argh! So, the hunt for the culprit began.

Since ALL of them were out, we were suspicious of the fuse. Unfortunately, when Mike went under the hood to check, he was a bit overzealous with the clip on the fuse box cover. It was one of those sounds that hits you as louder and longer than it really could have been. The snap heard round the world. Sigh. And my lid was in SUCH good condition as well. So, that gets added to my shopping list now.

However, the brake lights just seem to have had a less-than-optimal connection and are fine after having removed them, cleaned them up a bit and added a tad of dielectric grease to them. All is well. I also think I should prepare to pick up a set of tail light lenses, too. Perhaps the whole housing if I find ones in better condition that what I have, but certainly at least the lenses. Mine are a bit cracked, one stud is looking most suspect.

Also in store for the car Saturday was the removal of an ancient and non-functional radar detector. It turned out to not only be a great weight savings off of the nose of the car (there was a brick-like object that proclaimed "MICROPROCESSOR" but there wasn't much about it that was micro), but we discovered that the wiring job to put it in was less than desirable as well. Always nice to be rid of sketchy wiring.

The area under the air filter (I've a K&N sitting there) was thick with black gunk, apparently from the formerly slow leaking power steering pump hose. After removing all that ick, it looks much nicer down there, being blue instead of crud colored. There's still a lot I'd like to tackle detail-wise in there. I might try my hand at a bit of it today if this blasted coffee starts working.

The car was 'detailed' recently, but, let's face it, many detailers do the nice presentation job that'll keep most folks happy, but the truly detail oriented (is that a nice way for saying anal retentive?) will wind up finding little things here and there that should be done before veins start popping out of their foreheads.

And then there was yesterday. Yesterday was a mess. My father was in town, passing through on his way from St. Louis to San Diego and beyond. I take the M6 to Mesa to pick him up, with Mike along for the ride, of course. When we bring him back to our place, we leave the car outside as I figure we'd take it out to eat or something later on. Well...we wind up taking the truck to go somewhere, and then on to the restaurant. We leave the restaurant facing a nice mild dust storm, which soon turns into a huge dust storm. And then there's just enough water falling to make the car a splotchy mudball. I am not pleased. At all. My father and husband find a bit of amusement in this. I do not appreciate their amusement. At all.

Once there was a decent clearing, I snapped and washed the car. Yes, I am that bad. Then I see another wall of dust approaching. The M6 goes into the garage and sits in safety. Unfortunately, in my total psycho-whack-job rush, the car did not get properly dried and it now has typical water spots on it that I will address soon. Bleh. My first time washing the car, too, so I'm completely not in my groove with that process. I can wash a Mustang or Capri in record time with much success. This car is a bit different. So, I must learn its particulars.

Royalblau is a little unforgiving with its darkness, and Arizona water is unforgiving with its harshness.

I'd like to hear what you guys use on your rides to beat the water spots. I've heard both good and bad things about stuff like waterblades. And what do you use to get everything between the openings in the grill/kidneys/etc. I have tiny hands and those things eluded me last night.

So, there's this weekend's story. Am I certifiable yet?

To make the car look really nice, I allocate an entrie day to the process.

First, I take it to a gas station or other basic car wash location. This gets most of the large gunk off and washes the dust/pollen away well enough.

Next, I decide how far I want to take it, depending on the hour and how bad my hands hurt; polish and wax, or polish, clay, wax, and clearcoat?

For the vast majority of tasks, I like the Meguiars stuff. Their 3 part stuff (in a marron bottle) works pretty well. I use a buffer to apply the polish in sections, doing buffer first then following up with hand work using terry cloth squares to remove the excess, then moving to the next section. I usually break it down like this: trunk, back, right rear quarter, right door, right half of roof and pillars, right front quarter, right half of hood, front, left half of hood, left front quarter, left half of roof and pillars, left door, and lastly left rear quarter. At this point, it should be smooth to the touch, and all markings should be gone, including your water spots.

Next, the wax. Once again, I like the Meguiars for most vehicles, although I am experimenting with the Griot's stuff right now. Using the Meguiars wax (step 3, if using the step stuff in the maroon bottle) I switch pads on the buffer and do the exact same thing I did with the polish all over again, same sections, same order. Once that is done, the entire car should be downright reflective, and perfectly smooth to the touch. As a test, I like to put the bottle of wax or polish on the trunk or the roof to see if it will slide off. If it does, the job is ok.

Doing the "basic" job like this usually takes me a good 6-8 hours on my e34. I'd venture to say that makes me certifiable too. :stickoutt

The reason you go through all this trouble is to protect all the paint. Plus, if done right, the wax will stay on the car, meaning for the next 6 months or so, to make it look like it did when you finished all that hard work, all you have to do is wash it off gently, and it will come right back, especially from those dust storms.

Well, it appears the car had a very good wax job as part of the detail it got a couple of weeks ago. The water spots seem to basically wipe off of it, instead of having to be polished off when there's no wax on the car, so hopefully I can just gently rub them off (making sure there's no grit on the car and using this silly soft cloths that I've sacrificed for the task).

Unfortunately, though, our hard water here is pretty relentless, so the car has to be dried in record time in order to prevent them from forming. It's looking like it's going to be brutal for me over the next couple of months, with the coming monsoon season. :(

I also do the usual 8 hour detail involving some steps that put OCD people to shame.

A tip for some nasty water spots on your glass is vinegar, it removes it like no other. Home Depot sells water filters that remove all the crap from the water. Best part is that it has 5/8" inlet and outlet nipples so you can hook this up directly to your hose. This doesn't mean you should not towel dry your car, it just gives you that window so your not busting your balls (no pun intended) trying to dry it off.