Things took a turn for the worse with fatgirl. She was supposed to come on friday and possibly to the autoshow on saturday but shes no where to be found. I havent talked to her since tuesday or gotten a response from her non-supervised email.

Her friend from Tech called friday and asked if I knew where she was and said she might have gotten in trouble for "talking to me on AIM since she left it up" and something about a skirt. Well, I dont use AIM while im at school so she wasnt talking to me but I think I figured things out. I believe she was telling someone about the skirt I bought for her in Cozumel and left her AIM on to do something and her piece of shit mom read through her conversations.

Im guessing they found out that I came over on Sundays while they were gone, I mean how else would she explain getting a skirt when shes not allowed to leave the house? Im pretty sure all her internet and phone priviledges were taken from her but I hope they didnt take her out of school. They always threatened to do that while she was at Tech and I know they've been trying to send her to India to find a potential suitor since shes in the ideal marrying age (20) for muslims. I cant believe her parents are so fucking sick like that and I KNOW its because of religion. They want nothing to do with me and they wont even meet me cause im not sunni-muslim. Fucking pussies.


If anyone hears or finds out anything about her please call me, Im really worried. I hope they havent hit her, shes so fragile. She deserves much better than this and wish running away were an option for her but it isnt a plausible option. Her parents are so psyco that her dad once threatened her that he would "Kill her, kill her husband and then himself" if she ever did anything from a Non-Sunni Muslim that wasnt from a certain area of India. Im not afraid of him at all but I pray he doesnt act upon her. Please let me know since it might be easier to contact a person other than me right now.

:(

Adeel, what can I do to help? Seriously. I will be happy to stop by her house and make up some story to see if she's okay.

Adeel, what can I do to help? Seriously. I will be happy to stop by her house and make up some story to see if she's okay.
I dont know. Our schedules dont match or else I'd try to see her at her school. Problem is I dont know where her classes are or which campus shes at and heres the psyco part - her parents wait in the car while shes in class and/or walk her to her class.

I'll wait another week before i try doing something a little more drastic. Thanks for your help though.

I dont know. Our schedules dont match or else I'd try to see her at her school. Problem is I dont know where her classes are or which campus shes at and heres the psyco part - her parents wait in the car whie shes in class and/or walk her to her class.

I'll wait another week before i try doing something a little more drastic. Thanks for your help though.

I am 100% serious. If you can come up with an idea, I'm game.

Damn, that is seriously messed up. How can you start a life in America and completely try and shut your family off from its culture and way of life. If it is so terrible they never should have come.

Their daughter is old enough to make her own decisions, I can understand being strict, but not even letting their own child think for herself in a society they brought her up in to have a better life....thats fucked up.

Adeel, I am with ya bro. Anything I can do to help. Let's take down the Cynthia McKinney sign assault fatgirl's parents with it and while they are knocked out, leave a message that says; "With love from the supporters of Cynthia McKinney!"

sorry to hear man, good luck. Let me know if i have to call the family...we'll negotiate compensation later

Damn , Adeel, sorry to hear.

I can't imagine what she must be going through.

Carter

damn man...that sucks. You know I only live right down the road so if you need help with anything let me know. Hope it works out.

Chris

I'm so sorry, Adeel. :( If you think a female might have more luck infiltrating their evil web, let me know. I'd be up for trying... :)

seriously.

Im thinking of the options. We could steal her but then I'd have the burden of supporting another person right now. I just cant do that, I already have a crazy schedule that leaves me little time. Maybe we could take a bunch of loans out but im not ready for dealing with all that. Plus, I'll hopefully be going to law school next year so for the next 4 years I have to be focused. Im just worried that 4 years might be too late for her since most muslim women get married between 18 and 22.

Im leaving for Chicago the first week of May for the summer. Maybe I could steal her as I leave, I'd just need a trailer for all her clothes.

"Mom, look what i found!"

j/k. My parents love her.

:( :( :(

Adeel let me know what I need to do, anything you decide to do I'll back you up 100%.

and heres the psyco part - her parents wait in the car whie shes in class and/or walk her to her class.

Yeah I was still on the fence before you said that. Holy shit Adeel, sorry all this is happening man.

We all have you back man.

So should I steal her? I know she'd be willing to leave her family behind. Man, this is such a hard decision. My life will completely alter based on this decision...

So should I steal her? I know she'd be willing to leave her family behind. Man, this is such a hard decision. My life will completely alter based on this decision...

Sorry for my ignorance, but how old is she?

So should I steal her? I know she'd be willing to leave her family behind. Man, this is such a hard decision. My life will completely alter based on this decision...

I think the answer to this question is yes....although stealing isn't the right word. She is a consenting adult, not an item.

So should I steal her? I know she'd be willing to leave her family behind. Man, this is such a hard decision. My life will completely alter based on this decision...
At least go talk to her and tell her she can get away from them if she wants.

We could have a "get fatgirl back" bfc meet. :dunno

Here's an idea... i have this prepaid cell phone that's just sitting here. How about you give it to Yasmeen or whoever and they give it to her so she can call you without her parents knowing?

Anyway, let me know how I can help.

Matt

So should I steal her? I know she'd be willing to leave her family behind. Man, this is such a hard decision. My life will completely alter based on this decision...
Do it :thumbup:

Dude...She has to get away from this somehow.

Dude, what would her parents do if she just left, i.e. we kidnapped her?

Dude, what would her parents do if she just left, i.e. we kidnapped her?

Jihad

Dude, what would her parents do if she just left, i.e. we kidnapped her?

Call the police? :dunno

.:(

I second the motion from Sparc that her parents better wake up and figure out that their kids aren't going accept the BS way of life in their home countries once they've lived in America.

Hope you find out what the deal is.

I had a similar situation to this throughout college except the girl was white and super crazy christian parents and wasn't allowed to talk to muslims...nobody was even dating her in our group but she could never hang out or do anything with us cause we were not white...it got as bad as her dad would come to school and walk her to classes and wait for her just to make sure she didnt come around us. She ended up being forced to marry a guy in her church who was 2 years younger...made to drop out of school and just basically turn into a baby making machine...I have never felt so bad for anyone in my life. She was the most beautiful and nicest girl I have ever met but i have no way of ever getting in touch with her again because she is neither her at school anymore or allowed to call me or any of my friends and I would call her her but either her "husband" or dad would find out and probably beat her. So adeel I say while you still can save this girl because I would hate to see the same happen to her as did my friend. I wish everyday now that we would have done something because i know misreable she is now.

The point raised above is correct: She's of legal age to walk right out the door, and out of her parent's lives - if she wants to. And that is THE key here. She has to want out of this situation badly enough to deal with the unknown of beign cut off. Not you, not us, not anyone, but she can make that decision.

If you have reason to believe that there may be physical violence being used, you may be well advised to contact the police, or woemn's shelters to intervene.

In any case, as you say, this is one of those times when the decision you both make will be, without question, a turning point in the paths your lives take. The good news is that with sensible planning, financial discipline, and hard work, you can make a go of it.

But as I say, she has to want to do so, 100%, no looking back, no going back.

Good luck, and let us know what we can do.

:az

The point raised above is correct: She's of legal age to walk right out the door, and out of her parent's lives - if she wants to. And that is THE key here. She has to want out of this situation badly enough to deal with the unknown of beign cut off. Not you, not us, not anyone, but she can make that decision.

If you have reason to believe that there may be physical violence being used, you may be well advised to contact the police, or woemn's shelters to intervene.

In any case, as you say, this is one of those times when the decision you both make will be, without question, a turning point in the paths your lives take. The good news is that with sensible planning, financial discipline, and hard work, you can make a go of it.

But as I say, she has to want to do so, 100%, no looking back, no going back.

Good luck, and let us know what we can do.

:az


+1 Well said Doc

So should I steal her? I know she'd be willing to leave her family behind. Man, this is such a hard decision. My life will completely alter based on this decision...


If you feel this way, and she does too... YES.

Now if you were to use your head, you'd come up with all sorts of reasons why not to. But heads are for books, hearts are for lubbin'. :)

Things always seem to work out, if you do what seems 'right'. Even if 'right' puts you at odds with the world for a while. I watched my best friend (muslim, parents from SA and Egypt) marry my sister in law.. Catholic, white and 12 years older than him. Meeting them it's obvious despite all the things 'against them' they were meant to be together.

His parents (you can imagine) threw all sorts of fits with him marrying a non-muslim white woman from (IN) the US. Her parents, catholic to the bone of course had their own reservations about an arab/muslim in the family (high-boned family if I might say). I think at one point he was 'kicked from the family' and was planning to never speak to his father again, and it was looking bad for my sister-in-law too (although she had it easier with her parents and being 'older' and more of an adult I guess).

It all worked out for both of them, and for both families - things are very good, both families met, and get along well. My dad-in-law loves my bro-in-law to death now, and respects him and what he has to say. 2 beautiful daughters for them now as well.. What can I say?

Sorry for the story, just wanted to share with ya something similiar to your current situation.


Let us know if you need a platoon of BMW's to roll up to their house. we can all slap highbeams on their front window while you execute the escape. :alright

I'm sorry to hear this...

If there is anything I can do to help, let me know.

Good Luck,
-Chris

Adeel,

We are all sorry to hear what's going on and it must hurt you so much. Just know that we are all here for you. If you want to look into getting help from a women's organization, I have some contacts at the YWCA of Atlanta.

My idea is this: We all roll up on fatgirl's place with an army of German engineered driving machines...Adeel walks up to the door and knocks. When her father arrives at the door, we're all out of our cars with BF.c mafia faces on, and Adeel calmy...quietly informs him..."We're here for your daughter..." Then you two take off while we watch your backs... :evil2 Dean will definitely be needed for this type of action.

there are legal ways she could get out of this bind... may even be a canidate for witness prtection or something... seriously good luck tho man i got you as well

there are legal ways she could get out of this bind... may even be a canidate for witness prtection or something... seriously good luck tho man i got you as well

Witness protection?

Lets just kidnap her Thursday night after the Varisty meet, I mean we will all already be together so why not?

My idea is this: We all roll up on fatgirl's place with an army of German engineered driving machines...Adeel walks up to the door and knocks. When her father arrives at the door, we're all out of our cars with BF.c mafia faces on, and Adeel calmy...quietly informs him..."We're here for your daughter..." Then you two take off while we watch your backs... :evil2 Dean will definitely be needed for this type of action.
As nifty as that sounds, that scenario would probably end with fatgirl's parents calling the police to have everyone removed from the premises.

As nifty as that sounds, that scenario would probably end with fatgirl's parents calling the police to have everyone removed from the premises.

Thats why we bring hardcore thug Dean :stickoutt

But in all seriousness GP's right, any words of wisdom though?

Fatgirl has a million options open to her, none of which can be done by a third-party without her starting the process...because she is an adult. I have seen a very similar situation once before, but the young lady was too scared to leave her awful parents. We tried many different legal/social avenues, but it all came back to the fact that she was an independent decision-maker.

:(


Edit: If she decides she wants to leave and she is scared of the consequences, it only takes a few phone calls to get a police escort there when she removes her stuff and restraining orders issued against her parents.

If she decides she wants to leave and she is scared of the consequences, it only takes a few phone calls to get a police escort there when she removes her stuff and restraining orders issued against her parents.
Bingo. Good advice, and an excellent idea. She can't be held against her will, even if it is in her parent's house. :clap

Of course, that brings us back to the question about just how badly - if at all - she wants to leave. The point still stands that no matter how much someone may need help, or how many people want to offer that help, it all comes down to the person who has to make the decision on whether or not to take it.

Beyond that, though, if you think there's a chance they'll pull her out of school (or worse, out of the country), the first things you'd need to find out are A) where she is, and B) what condition she's in. If it were my situation to handle, I'd want that information sooner rather than later.

.02

Beyond that, though, if you think there's a chance they'll pull her out of school (or worse, out of the country), the first things you'd need to find out are A) where she is, and B) what condition she's in. If it were my situation to handle, I'd want that information sooner rather than later.



If she is within the city limits, I have a few friends on the APD who would happily drop by for a "welfare check" if you don't think that will make things worse.

EDit: Or someone on here can call and say they are in one of her classes and they got a group project and need to coordinate. That person would need to know what classes she's taking, but I'm sure Adeel knows that information.

If she is within the city limits, I have a few friends on the APD who would happily drop by for a "welfare check" if you don't think that will make things worse.
She's not. :az

EDit: Or someone on here can call and say they are in one of her classes and they got a group project and need to coordinate. That person would need to know what classes she's taking, but I'm sure Adeel knows that information.
With parents this fanatical, you'd probably also need to know her professors' names, times and days of the class schedule, and what room it's in. I expect there would be a heavy quiz involved. Even if that stage were passed, they'd probably still listen in on the call.

I think contact in this case pretty much has to be made outside the home, or any other avenue of the parents' control. :ponder

Thats why we bring hardcore thug Dean :stickoutt



I'll handle it. I'll go to the front door and say, "I need your clothes, boots and Fatgirl!"

http://www.europeanwerks.com/videos/arnold.jpg

Damn Doc Wha 12 replies of the same post!! Stupid forum board. Keep deleting...

Damn Doc Wha 12 replies of the same post!! Stupid forum board. Keep deleting...
Yeah, I'm working on it... :shifty

Okay, I think that's all but the one. :rolleyes



That was, hands down, the worst f&ck-up I've seen on this board yet. :thumbdown

I think they rebooted the server.

Must've been. All the threads I'd already read came back "unread." :ponder

Oh well. Life on teh intarwebnet. :silly

I was talking to Yasmeen thursday night about this. She did tell me that fatgirl was going to the museum on friday. I was going to go to the same museum "randomly" just to say hi, since her parents have never heard of me. I havn't talked to her in so long that i just wanted to catch up and see how things were going, and to possibly fill you in on the situation. Ended up NOT going because i couldn't get off of work.

If you do find a way to get her out of her parent's hands, I will help in any way possible.

Don't let this girl get away.

Heres an idea.
Adeel, if you want to marry her, love her, be with her, have kids with her, etc, you must sacrifice something. I'm guessing her parents (sunni) want her to be married to a sunni muslim? Why don't you turn sunni and present yourself to them? Goto to a masjid and go through the process. It's just an idea, take it with some salt, if ya na mean.

At least go talk to her and tell her she can get away from them if she wants.

We could have a "get fatgirl back" bfc meet. :dunno

Here's an idea... i have this prepaid cell phone that's just sitting here. How about you give it to Yasmeen or whoever and they give it to her so she can call you without her parents knowing?

Anyway, let me know how I can help.

Matt

i can get a discount on the prepaid cell cards for most carriers too



but it all came back to the fact that she was an independent decision-maker.

Edit: If she decides she wants to leave and she is scared of the consequences, it only takes a few phone calls to get a police escort there when she removes her stuff and restraining orders issued against her parents.


if she can get herself to want to leave. im betting this is going to be her best bet.

Adeel, if you want to marry her, love her, be with her, have kids with her, etc, you must sacrifice something. I'm guessing her parents (sunni) want her to be married to a sunni muslim? Why don't you turn sunni and present yourself to them? Goto to a masjid and go through the process. It's just an idea, take it with some salt, if ya na mean.
Hm. :ponder

With all due respect, I'm not sure the answer to irrational behavior is simply to join in with it. As opposed to helping free FG from her situation, it would instead seem to validate and reinforce the extreme attitudes of her folks. :az

Staying in isn't quite the best way out.

:cool

seriously.

Im thinking of the options. We could steal her but then I'd have the burden of supporting another person right now. I just cant do that, I already have a crazy schedule that leaves me little time. Maybe we could take a bunch of loans out but im not ready for dealing with all that. Plus, I'll hopefully be going to law school next year so for the next 4 years I have to be focused. Im just worried that 4 years might be too late for her since most Muslim women get married between 18 and 22.

Im leaving for Chicago the first week of May for the summer. Maybe I could steal her as I leave, I'd just need a trailer for all her clothes.

"Mom, look what i found!"

j/k. My parents love her.


Maybe...just maybe This is a contributing factor to "your" problem.
Your attitude seems to be all about YOU. How everything will be difficult for YOU.
If you really LOVE her, then your attitude would be more about HER. YOUR situation would be secondary. You would then be able to do WHAT IS NECESSARY in your life to MAKE IT HAPPEN.

So you may have to work harder.
you may have to take longer to complete school.
you may have to get a job
you may have to change your plans

Are you admitting, that you are NOT READY to make those decisions?

I think what you are really saying is that you are too young to contemplate what would happen if you alter the path that is set before you. Or you are too focused on your goals to involve the life of ANYONE else
Do you really want to bring someone else along for that ride?

I think what you are really saying is that you are too young to contemplate what would happen if you alter the path that is set before you. Or you are too focused on your goals to involve the life of ANYONE else
Do you really want to bring someone else along for that ride?
In fairness to Adeel, the posts may come across that way, but that may be simply part of the limitations of message boards. It's hard to say everything you want to (or perhaps, should) in the short time one spends composing these posts.

However, having spoken with him at length about this situation yesterday, I think it's more accurate to say that he's simply looking at the bigger picture of what would happen to him, and by extension, his ability to care for another person. In fact, I think it speaks quite well of Adeel's rational thinking abilities that he hasn't acted upon a knee-jerk, hyper-protective impulse. Rather, he's taking the very mature and intelligent path of allowing time to evaluate his options, goals, plans, and available resources, so that he can make the best long-term choice for himself and FG.

It's all too easy to fall into the "movie of the week" trap of "Run to her! Save her! Love conquers all!" Unfortunately, such simplistic romantic notions don't always win out. Sometimes, the only choice is to cut one's losses, and keep a bad situation from ruining two lives, instead of just one.

I think Adeel has a good grasp on the situation, including the very important question of what he can realistically do. That's far more than can be said for most people his age, and he deserves credit for that.

DW

Thanks for all the support guys. I'll try to reach her this week sometime...

Just being honest here. Maybe it's time to move on? You aren't going to change her or her parents. If she is 18yrs old, she can leave whenever she wants too. Obviously, she doesn't want to. I don't blame her. She probably has no job, no money and probably no car if they gave her one to drive or use, which I assume they would take away with the quickness if they knew she was going to leave. And why burden yourself with this extra headache of trying to help support someone if you take her in. You are in a hard school that probably demands a lot of your time just to make good grades. Now you will have to work for two people to help ends meet since I assume you would probably end up getting your own apartment. And who paid for her school? Her parents, HOPE or loans? I assume her parents are paying or it's Hope. If her parents were paying then she would need student loans and a job on top of that. How would she get to school, work if she doesn't have a car? I am assuming her parents are hardcore to the point to where they wouldn't give her a car if they bought her one. Bus, you as a chauffeur? Can you really handle all of this? And you want to go to law school? I assume maybe it will be out of state? Will she follow you then? And take out more loans to pay the ridiculous out of state tuition fees? It's not worth screwing up your life. I hate to sound mean, but that's the way it is. Your path in life is more important to just risk your dreams on someone you probably can't save. I'm sure she is a great girl and all but somethings aren't meant to be. Don't mess up your life over it. It would be different if you were already out of school or damn near it, but you're not.

Fair points, and a good summary of the kinds of difficult questions that need to be considered.

Just being honest here. Maybe it's time to move on? You aren't going to change her or her parents. If she is 18yrs old, she can leave whenever she wants too. Obviously, she doesn't want to. I don't blame her. She probably has no job, no money and probably no car if they gave her one to drive or use, which I assume they would take away with the quickness if they knew she was going to leave. And why burden yourself with this extra headache of trying to help support someone if you take her in. You are in a hard school that probably demands a lot of your time just to make good grades. Now you will have to work for two people to help ends meet since I assume you would probably end up getting your own apartment. And who paid for her school? Her parents, HOPE or loans? I assume her parents are paying or it's Hope. If her parents were paying then she would need student loans and a job on top of that. How would she get to school, work if she doesn't have a car? I am assuming her parents are hardcore to the point to where they wouldn't give her a car if they bought her one. Bus, you as a chauffeur? Can you really handle all of this? And you want to go to law school? I assume maybe it will be out of state? Will she follow you then? And take out more loans to pay the ridiculous out of state tuition fees? It's not worth screwing up your life. I hate to sound mean, but that's the way it is. Your path in life is more important to just risk your dreams on someone you probably can't save. I'm sure she is a great girl and all but somethings aren't meant to be. Don't mess up your life over it. It would be different if you were already out of school or damn near it, but you're not.

Reality check.

Adeel I am sorry to hear your situation but I must agree. At one point in my life I was with a black female for 2 years and my parents didnt agree with it and I kept on trying until it ultimately got to the point my parents told me it was them and a home or the streets and her. You need to think rationally like Senor Dean put it and I think he put it down well. If you seriously love this girl and are willing to change your life completely and be ready to face the consequences and dramatically raised challenges of life that will be thrown at you by all means save this girl but, if you for one second have doubts in your head that is an indication that you may not be able to handle the future this situation may hand you. I understand the whole stupid bullshit Sunni and Shiite muslim shit. Dude, I know I lost my grandfather and 2 cousins to that shit. Died because they werent the other. If you need me to pose as a sunni and do somethin to pull her from her home let me know bro you have my number. Take care and seriously think about everything before making any sort of decision.

Fatgirl is okay. Shes in lockdown but okay...just thought I'd let the ones who didnt know.

Fatgirl is okay. Shes in lockdown but okay...just thought I'd let the ones who didnt know.

Thanks for the update.

So what does "lockdown" consist of for her? DO her parents not let her go to school?

Organized Religion.. Ya can't live with it.. Ya can't live with out..






Errr.... Yes you can!

Organized Religion.. Ya can't live with it.. Ya can't live with out..

Errr.... Yes you can!
"Organized" religion isn't as bad as disorganized, ill-conceived, fringe fanatical offshoots that are more akin to cults than any rational, reasonable religion. :shifty

The puritanical fundamentalists sects in this country aren't much better than the Tali-BAN, et al. In fact, they've got more in common than either would probably like to admit. :rolleyes

Agnosticism FTW. The only logical position.

:D

"Organized" religion isn't as bad as disorganized, ill-conceived, fringe fanatical offshoots that are more akin to cults than any rational, reasonable religion. :shifty

The puritanical fundamentalists sects in this country aren't much better than the Tali-BAN, et al. In fact, they've got more in common than either would probably like to admit. :rolleyes

After seeing first hand what "Organized" Religion is capable of in the Middle East, I'd take Fundamental Christians like my parents any day. At least they're Republicans.

I'm the black sheep of the family since I'm agnostic.

"Organized" religion isn't as bad as disorganized, ill-conceived, fringe fanatical offshoots that are more akin to cults than any rational, reasonable religion. :shifty

The puritanical fundamentalists sects in this country aren't much better than the Tali-BAN, et al. In fact, they've got more in common than either would probably like to admit. :rolleyes
Just look at the 700 club.. "God is punishing us for gays, we should assisinate foreign rulers"