Can someone tell me what this chart means?

And if its possible I can do any of this configuring myself?

http://www.geocities.com/dirk.vael/M3.htm

I want to get the clown nose inside my car to go on after I lock my doors. I asked the my dealer to do it but they said it wasn't possible unless I have the alarm (which I know is a damn lie, becuase I have a friend who has done it in his E46 330ci).

Brian

The dealer has to do that programming. Both the Keys and the car have memory for certain things. You can use that chart to see what you want activated on your individual keys and take it to the dealer (let them worry about which memory to use.)

BTW, the clown nose can be activated without an alarm but it can cause problems. Here's the how-to from Loki's FAQ (http://members.roadfly.com/loki/e46m3_faq.html):

Q: I'd like my clown nose to blink and my car to beep when locked without having the alarm installed. Can I do this?

A: Yes. The dealer has to do the following:

e "Clown Nose" flashes when you activate your alarm. Did you know that you can have it programmed to flash, d the amber lights blink off/on when you open/close the doors even though the alarm is NOT installed? Here's how: 1) Have your dealer hook up the shop computer to the car.

2) Go to the "Anit-Theft" activation section.

3) Activate the alarm, but uncheck the "DWA" option.

but..

There are some consequences to doing this:

Activating the light is tricking the car's computer into thinking that the car has had an alarm installed. Consequently, fault codes are generated because the computer is searching for alarm data and can't find any... This will not affect the functionality of the vehicle until the car has some other electrical problem. When the car is hooked up to the diagnostic equipment at the BMW Center, the technician is going to pull up string after string of fault codes, and be unable diagnose whatever the problem is. At that point, the only solution will be to replace the car's computer -or- add an alarm in order to isolate the real fault codes... Sounds like a big headache just to have a blinking clown-nose thingy...